Video Game Dreams: The Eagle Has Landed

Imagine this. It was myself, Ernie Els and Tiger Woods – all tied up at the end of regulation at TPC Sawgrass each at -15 for the tournament. I got there by sinking a 39 foot putt on 18 from the edge of the green forcing the Sudden Death Playoff. Figured it would push left but it squeaked in while I was walking off pissed. The crowd scared the shit out of me when they roared. I played it off though.

So we head on over to the 1st hole, getting ready for the playoff, and Tiger is cracking jokes like always and Els is trying to, but no one can understand him. He sounds like mushmouth from Fat Albert with a South African accent (whatever that is). You would think he would be funny because he looks so much like Conan O’Brien. He is like 7 feet tall or something. Anyways, Tiger tees off first, which pisses him off, you know because he likes those dramatic come from behind, fist pumping, piss me off dramatic wins. He hits a beautiful drive right down the middle of the fairway and then turns and looks at me and Els – with his eyes closed. That MFer just hit a 300+ yard drive without looking. Bastard show off.

Els is up next and swings, all ten foot eight of him, and blasts one just behind Tiger’s ball on the fairway. He doesn’t do anything flashy like Eldrick, but I know I am looking at a hard tee shot if I want to keep pace with these guys. So the pressure is on me.

I rev back and swing as hard as I can, even kicking my front foot up a little, and nail the ball perfectly. The ball soars and lands with a thud past Els’ and rolls just inches past Tiger’s on the fairway. I am ecstatic and the crowd erupts. I just look at them both and shrug. This is going to be fun.

Els is up first and lofts a beautiful shot just past the pin and to the left, about eight yards from the cup. So much for them letting up right? Next is Tiger. Let’s see if he closes his eyes this time. Nope. As soon as he hits it, he slams down his club. We all look up and see why. Hello trees. Tiger pushes his shot to the right, directly into the rough. Uh oh, all of us in the clubhouse will have to hear about why that happened later today. He will blame either the sun or his grip. I put $5 on the sun this time.

So, I follow the best golfer in the world and a former number one player in the world with my second shot. No pressure right? As I step up to my ball, I can feel my heartbeat in my knees. What’s all that noise? The crowd? The bugs? The sun? My head is spinning. The caddy hands me my club and then…silence. The course fades away to just the flag. You know like those cool shots in Bagger Vance? I take a deep breath and exhale. Then I swing. The ball looks beautiful in the air on its way to the green. The crowd starts building up to a dull roar, anticipating where the ball will land. It finally makes its descent, softly landing about eight feet behind the cup and starts rolling back. It backspins right into the hole and the crowd explodes. Tiger starts laughing and Els actually jumps up and down. Girl. Then it hits me. I just won TPC Sawgrass with an eagle on 1 in sudden death against Tiger Woods and Ernie Els. Holy crap.

I love this game.

~ by jghanks on June 1, 2009.